A Relaxing Day with the Kids...
by dutchtulips
Summary: AU. anakin and amidala take a relaxing day to be with twins, but things are everything *but* relaxing...


A Relaxing Day with the Kids...

by mrs~*~kenobi

a.k.a ~queen of hearts~

STANDARD DISCLAIMERS: Star Wars belongs to Georgie Porgie. I don't know whom Pokémon belongs to. Z-Men and FunStation are spoofs of X-Men and Sony Playstation, Jerry Springer belongs to himself, Jeopardy! is property of Sony Pictures Entertainment, Inc., Shrek is copyrighted by Dreamworks Pictures, and Moulin Rouge is copyrighted by Twentieth Century Fox.

****

AN~ 100% A/U! this is my first attempt at a humorous star wars fic...fair warning if it's completely lame. I guess luke and leia are around seven years old.

~*~

"Have you seen the twins?" Amidala asked Anakin one Saturday morning, wandering into the Palace kitchen. Tying her pale pink robe tighter around herself, she reached into the refrigeration unit for some juice.

Anakin, who was sitting at the breakfast bar, said, "They're probably in the living room." Just then his toast popped. "All right!"

Amidala rolled her eyes, pouring some pineapple juice into a tumbler. "If you're letting them watch too much holo-vid, Anakin Skywalker..." she scolded.

Anakin slapped some jam on his toast and bit into it. "Aw, a little holo-vid never hurt anyone," he said, chewing.

Amidala put the carton of juice back in the refrigeration unit and slid next to Anakin on the breakfast bar, sipping the pineapple solution from the tumbler. "I'm not so sure...ever since you've let them watch it all the time, they haven't taken their eyes off the damn set since!"

Anakin swallowed down his toast and took a swig out of his wife's tumbler. "And you said you wanted children..."

She narrowed her eyes at him, although she was trying not to laugh. 

Anakin popped another piece of raisin bread in the toasting unit, pretending not to notice. "Want some toast?" he asked.

~*~

After Amidala showered and dressed for the day, she wandered out into the living room, where she found Luke and Leia transfixed on the holo-vid. 

"Luke...Leia..." she said, trying to get their attention. Amidala put a hand on her hip, exasperated. "Children!" 

Leia looked up. "Good morning, Mommy!" she chimed. Luke continued to stare at the holo-vid. Amidala rolled her eyes at this, then lifted Luke up off from his place on the floor, settling down on the couch with him in her lap. 

"What are you watching?" she asked.

"Pokémon!" Leia exclaimed, dancing all around. "It just came on!" 

"What, pray tell, is _that_?" Amidala asked, staring at the screen, at all the funny-looking little creatures.

Luke bounced up and down in his mother's lap, excited. "The pokémon battle each other and stuff! Can we go see the movie? Charmander is cool!" he babbled.

"Nu-uh!" Leia replied. "Pikachu is way cooler! He could beat up Charmander any day of the week!" 

Luke crawled off his mother's lap and down on the floor next to Leia. "I'll go get my cards and we'll just _see!_" he argued back.

"Children!" Amidala exclaimed, trying to stifle her laughter. "Don't fight!"

But Luke had already ran off for his cards. Leia trailed after him. "You won't win! Pikachu is best! He can beat anyone up!" she yelled after him.

Amidala smiled, then leaned back, watching the show. After a few minutes she muttered to herself, "Gods...who in their right mind _likes _this cartoon?"

From the other room, Anakin called out, "I get the holo-vid! Pokémon's on!" He came into the living room and saw a rather amused looking Amidala staring at him, and his excitement dimmed.

He cleared his throat loudly. "Uh........the twins...yeah...I watch it with the twins........by the way...where _are_ Luke and Leia?"

"Battling with their cards again," Amidala said as her husband dropped on the couch next to her. "So we are _NOT_ watching Pokémon! I can't believe you wanted to spend the day at home with them, Anakin. By the day is out, you're going to have to get the cold compress, aspirin, _all _the works!"

"Oh, come on...how hard could it be?"

As if in answer to Anakin's question, Leia came tearing through the living room, screaming. Luke was hot on her heals.

"Mommy!" she screamed, hopping on the couch, hiding behind her mother. Luke hopped after her, trying to grab his sister. Anakin picked up Luke by the arm.

"Come here, you Rugrat," he said, lowering Luke to the floor. He broke out of his father's grasp and went after Leia again. 

"You were saying?" Amidala said, looking over at Anakin.

~*~

Near noontime Anakin came into the kitchen, a squirming twin under each arm. So far that morning the twins had made a mess of their room by making a tent of it using their bedclothes, scattered their Pokémon cards across the living room, and left their Z-Men action figures on the Palace stairs. 

"Is lunch ready yet?" he asked Amidala wearily. She was sitting at the breakfast bar, sliding plates across the tabletop.

Luke and Leia wiggled out of their father's grasp and jumped onto their stools at the bar. "Past since," Amidala said.

"Lunch at the breakfast bar?" Anakin whined jokingly. He slid up next to Luke, putting the twins in between their parents. "What did the cook make?"

"Today is the Cook's day off," Amidala said, reaching over to pour specially imported Coruscant Cola into the twins' tumblers, "so I made us lunch."

"Oh, really?" Anakin asked, "I don't think I'm so hungry anymore." Amidala glared at him. "Just joking, my dear!" he quickly added. "What are we having?"

"Look at your plate."

"Tell me what it is." Anakin received another glare from his wife.

"Pasta Primavera," she said with a roll of her tongue. They both looked over at Luke and Leia, who were pushing the vegetables around on their plates and eating just the noodles.

"Luke! Leia!" Anakin said. "Eat what's on your plates."

"We ARE!" Luke insisted.

"Eat your vegetables," Amidala said firmly. "They're good for you."

"They're icky," Leia replied, "but Luke can have mine." Leia scooped her mushrooms and zucchini onto her brother's plate.

"Nu-uh!" Luke yelled, shoving them back while adding his carrots.

Pretty soon, the twins had made the breakfast bar a mess exchanging vegetables. Most of them weren't even on Luke and Leia's plates anymore, but rather all over the breakfast bar, on their tunics, and in each other's hair.

"CHILDREN!" Amidala yelled above their racket, but they continued to fight and make a mess. Anakin reached out for Luke's fork to stop a glob of onion and asparagus from hitting Leia, but it landed on Anakin instead. Amidala reached over to snatch Leia's glass of cola before she poured it over her brother's head, but it splashed all over Amidala. Then the twins jumped off their seats, ready to start a food fight.

Finally a very exasperated asparagus-and-noodle covered Anakin and a cola soaked Amidala each snatched up their children's plates.

"You two have made a mess that you both are going to CLEAN UP!" Amidala scolded them loudly. "Now, if you are finished, I suggest you go sit in the living room and behave yourselves until the lunch hour is over. If not, sit down like good children and mind your table manners or I won't let you watch holo-vid for one whole week!"

Luke and Leia immediately silenced, sliding back on their stools. Anakin watched his wife in awe. 

"Now are you two going to behave yourselves and finish eating, or do I have to send you to your room for the rest of the day?" Amidala asked them. 

"We'll be good," they both said, not wanting to be sent to their room and have holo-vid condemned. 

Anakin looked over at his wife. "How did you do that?" he mouthed.

Amidala grinned. "It's all Mom Power," she mouthed back.

~*~

Later, after Amidala had given Luke and Leia a bath and she and Anakin had both showered, they all sat down to watch some late-afternoon holo-vid.

"Why don't you find one show and stick with it?" Amidala asked Anakin, who was channel surfing.

"Oh, come on, Amidala. Seven hundred channels and you expect me to watch just one?"

She rolled her eyes. Little Leia, who was sitting in her mother's lap, turned around. "Mommy, will you braid my hair?" she asked.

Amidala smiled. "Of course, darling. My little Princess of Theed has to maintain appearances, doesn't she? Now go get the brush and I'll wait here."

Leia slid off her mother's lap and went to the refresher for the brush. Meanwhile, Anakin was still channel surfing. "There MUST be something good on 543-K," he said. 

"_Welcome, welcome, welcome! If you've just joined us, today's guests say they have decided to come clean about their secret affairs!" _ Jerry Springer said on the holo-vid.

"Oh, not _that_ rubbish, Anakin Skywalker," Amidala groaned. "Besides it puts a bad impression on the twins."

Leia returned with the brush and some hairpins. Climbing back into her mother's lap, she noticed _The Jerry Springer Show _still tuned in on the holo-vid.

"Hey, Daddy," she said. "Remember what was on the other day? Gardulla the Hutt found out Jabba was cheating on her with that Neimoidian?"

Amidala shot her husband a dark glare.

"Uh..." Anakin said nervously, looking at his wife. "Didn't I tell you to play on the FunStation with Luke when Daddy was watching _Jerry Springer_?"

"Never mind, now," Amidala said. "You're in for it later, Anakin," she scolded, beginning to braid Leia's hair.

Luke, who was arranging his Z-Men figures on the couch, looked up at the holo-vid. "Yeah!" he shouted, waving an action figure in the air. "You tell him, boy! She's just trailer trash!"

Amidala shot her husband another glare. "Shut this show off right now!"

Anakin immediately clicked to the next channel. "All right!" he exclaimed. Amidala looked up to see some awful show worse than Springer on, but was surprised to see Anakin was watching something civilized for once.

Familiar theme music was playing. "This is Jeopardy!" 

Amidala pinned up Leia's braids and put the brush aside. "Now _this_ is a better show to watch in front of the children."

Alex Trebek motioned to the leading contestant. "_Amee, It's your choice_," he said.

"_Podracing for 400 credits, Alex_," she replied. Amidala smiled and looked over at Anakin.

A blue square filled the screen. _"These purple currents power the Pod's engines and also cause numbness,"_ Alex read.

Anakin slammed his hand down on the couch as if buzzing in. "What are energy binders, Alex!" he yelled out.

__

Beep, beep, beep. "_The correct answer would be energy binders," _Alex told the contestants.

"I knew that!" Anakin said. Then he turned to Amidala. "I just won four hundred credits," he went on, "Let's go out to dinner and a movie tonight!"

Amidala looked from the twins to Anakin, then laughed. "Are you sure?"

"Definitely!" he said.

Amidala lifted Leia off her lap and up on her feet. "And do you suppose we can use these 'imaginary' credits to get into the movie and eat dinner?" she asked, smiling.

"Just get Luke and Leia ready to go," he said. "I'll take care of the rest."

Leia jumped around excitedly. "Yay! We're going out tonight!"

Luke, who had barely been paying attention to anything except for his Z-Men figures, looked up at his sister. "Where are we going?"

"Supper and holo-movies!" she cried. "Put your dumb Z-men guys away! Mommy's going to get us ready to go!"

Luke tossed his toys in their box. "Fine. I'm hungry, anyways."

"You two had better behave yourselves," Amidala warned, but said it lightly.

"We will!" Leia promised. She ran up to Anakin, who was getting up to go to his bedroom. "Do we get to eat in a fancy rest-rant, Daddy?" she exclaimed, clinging to his tunic. 

"Sit down restaurant, at least," he replied.

"NO FAST FOOD!" Amidala shouted back at Anakin. "Come on children. Let's get you ready to go."

~*~

Forty-five minutes later, the party of four were sitting in the back of Amidala's hovercar in their evening finery. Anakin had sported the usual - beige tunic and pants, long brown Jedi robes, and belt. Amidala was wearing a teal and purple silk evening gown, excluding her white face makeup. Little Leia had donned a dress of pink and white silk similar to her mother's. Last but not least, Luke was in loose fitting beige pants with a gray tunic.

"Now try not to get anything on your good clothes," Amidala told the twins. "We're eating at McGregor's, that is, if Daddy has the money," she looked at him and raised her eyebrows as if to say, 'Okay, where is it?'

Anakin reached into the pocket of his Jedi robes and pulled out a bunch of credits clipped together with a money clip with a replica of a podracer on it and 'AS' emblazoned next to it. "But I won't tell where I secretly stash the cash!" he said.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you only _found _it and didn't say anything," Amidala replied.

"Nah, I save it. You never know when the need should arise and you cook dinner," he grinned.

"Ha, ha."

~*~

"The specials tonight are Bourbon Bantha Steak and Grilled Swordfish Steak," the waiter said. "Care for either?"

"Yuck-ola," Luke said. "I want noodles!"

"What is it with these kids and noodles?" Anakin muttered. "Uh, yes, I think the Bourbon Steak sounds wonderful."

Amidala rolled her eyes. "Don't you _drink _enough Bourbon at home?" she asked.

"Oh, no, dear, that's Brandy," he smirked.

"Very cute," she said. "But by all means, if you want a steak to get you drunk, go right on ahead and order it," she said, then laughed. "Do you still have Eggplant Parmigan?" she asked the waiter. 

"Yes, we do."

"Noodles! Noodles! Noodles!" Luke chanted, banging his fork on the table.

"Luke, stop! Mommy said no holo-vid for a week if we aren't pa-lite in the rest-rant!" Leia whispered fiercely at her brother. "You're acting like you're only three years old!"

"It's the only way to get attention anymore," he replied to his sister.

Anakin rolled his eyes, grinning, then turned his attention to a very exasperated looking Amidala. "Just order them some cavatini," he said.

Finally the waiter managed to get all of their orders and left their table.

"Luke, what did I tell you about misbehaving in the restaurant?" she said firmly.

"No holo-vid for a week?" he replied.

"Yes, now is that what you want?" Amidala asked.

"No, but last time you punished us from the holo-vid, Daddy let us watch it anyway when you had the dinner with the Chancercellor," Luke replied, stumbling over the word. "So I didn't think it would matter if I did or not."

Amidala glared over at her husband. "You're walking a very thin line with me Skywalker," she scolded with a smirk. "Do I have to punish you for letting the children watch the holo-vid when I told them they couldn't and let them watch that horrid _Jerry Springer_ and put rubbish in their heads?"

Anakin put a smart aleck look on his face and returned his wife's stare. "How are you going to punish me?"

"Let's just say I could get twice as many headaches for the next week," she said.

"Okay, okay! I won't let the kids watch Jerry anymore!" he exclaimed.

~*~

"Wasn't that funny?" Leia said, all smiles, as she, Luke and her parents walked out of the movie theater. "I liked the princess, she was my favorite."

The four of them had just seen _Shrek_. "But the ogre guy eating his own ear wax was yucky," she continued.

"The donkey was cooler than the princess was," Luke replied. "He had all the funny parts."

Anakin and Amidala linked arms as their children babbled on about the movie. They stood in the concession line to buy the twins some candy as a present for good behavior when they saw Obi-Wan leaving the theater across from the one they had just left.

"Hey Kenobi!" Anakin called across the lobby to his former master. Obi-Wan saw him and walked over. "What are you doing on Naboo?" Anakin asked him.

"Just a little vacation. I was going to drop by the Palace to see you guys later," he said.

"What was the movie you just saw?" Anakin asked Obi-Wan as he and Amidala reached the counter. 

Obi-Wan stuffed his hands in the pocket of his Jedi robes. "Moulin Rouge."

Anakin rolled his eyes. "You saw _that_?" he asked. "Doesn't seem like the type of movie you'd go to see, Obi-Wan."

"Yes, well...I've only seen it advertise on the holo-vid twenty times a day. And the male main character..." Obi-Wan had a dumbfounded look on his face.

"What?" Anakin prompted, who had only heard about the movie but hadn't seen the previews.

"He looks a lot like me."

Anakin split out laughing. "Looks like _you_?"

"Yes! I swear, if he didn't have dark hair and was wearing Jedi garb, we'd be twins."

~*~

Amidala moaned incoherently as she fell backwards onto her and Anakin's bed. "Gods, I am so tired!"

"Join the club," Anakin called from the refresher. A few moments later he wandered in wearing his sleeping clothes. Dropping down beside her on the bed, Anakin brushed her cheek. "I never thought the twins would take so much out of me. At the Temple they're always so well behaved."

Amidala, who was still in her evening gown, pulled the covers up over herself. "Yes, well, I told you so. Looking after the twins on Coruscant and looking after the twins on Naboo are two different stories."

"Too true," he agreed. Anakin paused. "You're going to _sleep _in that?" he asked incredulously, motioning to her gown.

"I'm too tired to change," she said wearily.

"Perhaps," he said grinning, "I could do it for you."

Amidala turned to look up at him. "You could," she agreed grinning back.

Anakin reached down to unbutton her dress. While he slid it off her shoulders, Amidala looked at him and said, "Now looking after Luke and Leia for the day is not so easy after all, is it?"

"On Naboo, yes. When they're on Coruscant, they'll be on their best behavior. When they're on Naboo....they'll be with their mother."

__

el fin

~*~*~

what did you think? was it lame? was it funny? i hope you liked it. it was my first attempt at a humorous star wars fic, so please be kind....I'll give you five dollars! LOL.

mrs~*~kenobi.

~*~*~


End file.
